My maternal grandmother was very dear to me. She took me in every time my mom left us and I tell everyone that she raised me. She passed away when she was only 57. I was still very young then and I missed her more than words could ever express.

I did have a relationship with my mom after I was grown. Sometimes that relationship was a good one and sometimes the relationship was strained. My mom was an alcoholic and I believe that the love or need or desire to maintain her lifestyle proved to keep her separated from what most would call a normal life. I loved my mom despite her addiction and was able to maintain a threadbare tie with her until her passing earlier this year.

My grandmother had lupus and basically that disease just ravaged her body; killing her from the inside out. She had a stroke and fought for a couple of days to regain consciousness. During that time, I worked all day and spent every night at the hospital just in case she did wake up. It was beyond hard. Even though I was young, it was exhausting, and the emotional toll was all but unbearable. She did not awaken. I do believe, though, that I will see her again; that her eternity will be in heaven. So now, as a mature Christian, the pain of her passing has been replaced with peace.

On my mother's birthday, the summer after my grandmother died, I went to visit my mom; to take her a gift and to spend the afternoon with her. When I got to her home, she was so drunk, she could barely walk. My mom was a crying drunk and this particular time was no exception. We ended up fighting and I told her that I would never sit by her hospital bed and watch her die because she was the one that was killing herself. I left angry but I didn't drive home, instead, I went to the cemetery where my grandmother was buried. I sat at the headstone and cried. I cried and cried. When the tears finally stopped, I went home and slept. The next morning, my mom called me. She apologized for her behavior and our argument. She'd never done that before. In college, I wrote about that time and I entitled it "The Solace Stone".

Just the other day I got an e-mail from a long-time friend. She's given me permission to include it on my blog. Here is the e-mail, almost in its entirety:

Hi Melisse,
Been enjoying your blog and look at it daily. The photos are super neat and you are really doing a great job!
I know you are real busy with everything, but I've been led to email you and tell you something.
It's not bad news, so don't set your hair on fire.
Some time back, you mentioned on your blog on Nov 9 th, this.........
What do I hope to accomplish by writing all these thoughts twirling around in my head? A few things, I suppose:
1) Know the Lord, and love Him with all your heart, mind, and soul.
2) Remember to call your mom, often.
3) Forgive petty faults and ignorant deeds.
4) Hold your kids, often.

So, what I want to write about is the #2, call your mom.
Shortly after your mom passed away, in my regular dusting and such I found something that I thought you might like to have. I had no idea this was in my possession. A forgotten something.
I took this as a sign from your mom, but at the time, I didn't think you would want this.
What it is, is a simple note, in my handwriting that I wrote down at the time frame you went on a trip. Maybe it was the bus ride, way back at the time we both worked for Vicki Williams.
It reads on the note paper, "Melisse's Mom 331-7609"
Apparently, you wanted me to be able to reach her - just in case.
The relationship you had with her at the time was complex, but you and she loved each other.
So, my question is, would you like to have this memento? I would love to mail it to you, if so.
You know I have some funky thoughts and I've talked about when my relatives pass away, they come and visit me, or my other good friends or family to let us know they are well and in God's hands. This especially seems to happen soon after their passing.
And I look at this as a gift from your mom, to me to give to you when the time was right if you wanted it.
And the reason why now I'm led to tell you this, more so than before, besides I knew last year the hurt was too fresh, is because of the Season.

I received that note today from my friend, Kathy.

I can't honestly say that I feel at peace about my mom's passing, but when I received this today, I did recall the time I'd visited my grandmother's grave. Maybe I should feel peace. Maybe I can. Or maybe it is a reminder that all people, regardless of their faults, need to be called on, called out to.

As we hurry ourselves preparing for holiday gatherings and events, let us all remember those that need to hear the Good News. Those that need to know that forgiveness can be theirs, just for the asking. Let us remember that we can all know that there is Peace the Passes ALL Understanding.